Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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