I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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