i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
