If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
