my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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