can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We have started to decorate penises.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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