The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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