Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize