now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
