they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
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when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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