I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
