I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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