I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
