Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
