After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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