Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Sorry about my life...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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