I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize