I puked a lego.
i will never coherently bang her
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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