he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
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