Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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