420 ftw
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
