You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
