i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
