My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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