she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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