we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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