I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize