id be glad to
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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