Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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