If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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