So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize