how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
