i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
