what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Even my vagina gasped.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
