I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
