god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
