Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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