Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
