It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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