You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
