i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
