There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
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