THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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