so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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