wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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