i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize