Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If I die, sorry about rent.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
