I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize