I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize