i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
