PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
