I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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