it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize