I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
