Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
