he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was confusing and full of hummus
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
