I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
