If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
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koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
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Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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