I cannot find my penis.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
