it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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