Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Come back. Shots need mouths.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
