i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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