Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize