i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
