We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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