It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
third nipple confirmed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
