gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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