I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
