Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
